As for the secrets I have received:
*I'm scared of turning into my mom... so I don't let the man who loves me into my life...
*I skydive with the secret hope that a malfunction will occur, and it will kill me. This way it will be a tragic accident.. instead of suicide.
*I wish that she would succeed in getting him to leave his wife for her. It might show her son that love is worth the risk... and it might show me that even in impossible situations, love is still possible.
*It's not that i don't bother it's because i can't deal with it
And for some personal things...
I was cruising around some secret sites.... and found this....
it was posted by someone with the same name as me... yet it wasn't me. It made me feel less alone....
Alyssa Rose wrote
at 4:50am on June 8th, 2008
him: I love you Alyssa. We belong together.
him: I promise lyssy, i'm never ever letting you go
-- I miss that more than anything.
and then this also hit me pretty hard:
i truly had no idea that a connection like this was possible between two people. I'm 18, and i feel like its a fluke or I don't deserve it. I love you doesn't even begin to cover how i feel about you. Every single day for the last 2 months, one week, and one day, i have wondered if this happens a lot; do people everywhere feel like this about their high school boyfriends/girlfriends? Even in the early stages of our friendship last year I knew there was something drawing me to you, and I NEVER anticipated this. In three months, you will be 6 hours away, and Ill still be stuck here. even after a few short weeks, you were the one telling me how excited you were that i could come up to visit you on long weekends, you would be here for all the holidays. you have never doubted us and I hate that I do. I doubt that I will be able to go months without seeing you, when mere days now are torture. I have no worries that you will cheat on me.
Finally... My own secret for the day:
There are days when I sincerely want to crash my car into a tree, just so I can find out if my life is as much of a soap opera as it seems to be… and they only thing that stops me is the fear that once I’m in the hospital… you won’t be there by my side the way I wanted you to.
Pass on the site, and I welcome comments!
Thanks for reading!
I have wanted to drive into a tree before too. Sometimes I didn't even know why. But I'm always glad I didn't. If you die, that would be horrible. It's not as romantic as you want it to be. If you get hurt, that could be worse. Think adult diapers and feeding tubes. Yuck. And even if you don't get hurt, your car will be totally f***ed up and ur insurance will go up. Plus, u might hurt the tree. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment... It's amazing to me because in my scenario... the guy that I refer to as "you"... his nickname is CJ... so it's nice to hear... it's almost like he is actually telling me not to..
ReplyDeleteand I'd never want to hurt a tree...
Again, Thanks for the comment,
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